Police Academy 7: Assignment: Kansas City, Kansas

Now's as good a time as ever to make the transition into a new career path: professional criminal!

The Kansas City, Kan., Police Department is reaching into the Steve Guttenberg school of law enforcement in order to handle routine police functions. The sponsored program, Volunteers in Police Service, is relatively new to the community, but not to Hollywood.

Didn't you see how this thing ends? Next think you know we have criminals running circles around Bubba Smith (or maybe in our case Tim Grunhard). I saw the Fox 4 report that gave us a glimpse of some of these new recruits. Needless to say, the females do not resemble a young Kim Cattrall.

The program is said to enable the actual police officers to spend more time tending to their primary duties. The only problem: police officers have neeeeeeeever tended to putting real criminals behind bars.

Yet this is what improvments to the public law enforcement community have come to: taking cues from B-level Hollywood film franchises. Those private security contractors in Baghdad are looking really nice right about now.